Sorry Not Sorry

Happy Sunday Moths!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I want to talk about the word "sorry" today. We all know those people that say sorry about e v e r y t h i n g. Somebody runs into them..."sorry." They sneeze during class..."sorry." They even say it to their dog if they accidentally step on them..."sorry."

(okay, that last one was about me..)

Whether you say it a lot yourself, or you know someone that does, do you realize how quickly you say--or the person you know says--it to other people? I know for me, I just blurt it out habitually, the same way people say "bless you" when someone sneezes. What I want to stress is how easily it is to say it to other people: why don't we ever say it to ourselves? 

Huh??

I know, that sounds crazy, why would we say sorry to ourself? We don't realize how much pressure we put onto ourselves in every day life. In today's world, there are so many objects/people screaming in our ears--through social media, television, and even friends/family--to do things a certain way: join this gym and get your "summer" body; use this toothpaste and get a whiter smile; wear this to look more attractive. All of these swim around in the back of our minds without us realizing because they are being imprinted on us, whether we acknowledge them or not. In turn, we begin to say critical things to ourselves as a reflection of what we hear every day: why did you eat that, you're going to gain weight; I didn't work out today, I hate myself; I wish my clothes/hair/smile/body looked like that; I need to do better, be better. These thoughts pile up and Up and UP until they flood the brain, leaving no air for positivity. Expectations conflicting with reality only creates pain and disappointment (take it from me).  You simply cannot be someone you are not, and "hoping" or "wishing" gets you nowhere, but you can set obtainable goals and work towards them. This is your life and you have control of it, no matter how uncontrollable it may feel at times. Don't be jealous of others, or feel belittled by them, or let them dictate how you should look/act/live. It's just a waste of time. 

So, back to the word "sorry." 

Leave the "sorry" 's for the times you really screw up something, or actually hurt someone, and take it out of your every day list of vocabulary. Instead of saying it to others, say it to yourself whenever a negative thought pops up in your head. You are going to feel so silly, but stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eyes*, and say--either in your head, or out loud if you want to feel extra crazy--I'm sorry. This is going to feel weird at first, but we need to get as comfortable with saying it to ourselves as we are saying it to other people. It's okay to laugh or blush, but repeat it several times--I'm sorry I said those hurtful things about myself; I'm sorry I wished I was someone else; I'm sorry I didn't treat you (your body) with kindness. You have to love yourself, I cannot say this enough. Don't rely on an external source to tell you you're beautiful or special or worth it. Tell yourself. Be independent. Because at the end of the day it's just you inside of that head of yours, telling you how you feel about yourself. 

*a small note: staring into your own eyes is one of the most vulnerable, personal things you can do. It sounds stupid, but have you ever actually looked at yourself in the mirror? Not at all of the "imperfections" of your body, but you as a whole? If you're like me, you look into the mirror and see the stretch marks and jiggly parts and cellulite. Focusing on these things are an absolute waste of time because they don't show the soul inside. I did this little exercise, staring into my own eyes, for a couple of minutes the other day and started crying because of how exposed it made me feel. If you don't believe me, try it for yourself.

Here's my challenge to you for the week ahead:

1. Catch yourself when you say "sorry" to someone and mentally take note of why you said it

2. If it wasn't for something you were seriously sorry for, STOP SAYING IT

3. Throughout the week, jot down any negative/hurtful thoughts you say to yourself

4. At the end of the week, look yourself in the mirror and say "sorry I thought...(step 3 notes)"

5. Set aside some "me" time in your busy schedule, where you won't be interrupted, and look into your own eyes in the mirror. Let yourself in and let go of the bad thoughts. 

Fly freely, moths. xoxo