Good Evening, Moths.
It is 1:30 in the morning. A time when one would normally be sleeping, refueling their body with tender sleep to prepare for the coming day. I, unfortunately, am not one of those lucky people. My soul calls for writing, and so I am here.......writing..
You see I have the mind of a highway at rush hour. Bustling with the noise of honking horns, or in my case, thoughts. Thoughts with the intention of arriving at some destination, but getting jammed with countless others, left to sit, rather impatiently, and fester. A traffic jam of the mind.
The only way to clear a traffic jam is to allow the cars to flow. And so shall my thoughts.
Metaphors aside, I do have one such thought that has earned the subject of tonight's post. And that thought is romanticized......well, romance. Let me set the stage:
It is a time before Facebook and Twitter and even the mighty Google. A time before a couple of clicks told you everything you needed to know about a person before even speaking a word to them. Bookstores were alive and visited often. (Yes, they used to have actual stores filled with actual books you could hold in your hands, as opposed to the electronic versions available on your kindle using one-click shopping on amazon that can be bought without so much as leaving your bed. Imagine that.) In order to truly get to know someone else, you had to talk in person. Take walks in the park. Get coffee together.
In this long lost world, there are two people talking to each other via online chatting. Neither know the identity of the other, they simply speak to one another willingly. They feel as if they truly connect with each other, despite never having met in person. They speak about books that make them feel some kind of way, thoughts they have over the course of a day, and so on. The woman owns a neighborhood bookstore, one she had inherited after the passing of her beloved mother. The man, quite ironically, is helping to open a big-chain bookstore across the way that inevitably leads to the downfall of the woman's dearly cherished store. Neither of them know how pivotal a role the other plays in their lives, and they even cross paths and interact on multiple occasions (with little warmth for another, of course.) The man finds out first who she is, he comes to the realization that she is everything he wants in his life, and fights to earn her affection. In the end they finally meet, and she simply says "I was so hoping it was you," after which they have the long awaited first kiss.
Some of you may be thinking, this kind of thing only happens in the movies. Well, you're absolutely right. I'll give you two big hints: the woman is Meg Ryan and the man is Tom Hanks.......
You've. Got. Mail.
The quintessential recipe for a classic romantic comedy, or rom com. As if "Sleepless in Seattle" wasn't enough, they had to go and make another one. If there's anything you need to know about me, it is 1) I am a utterly hopeless romantic who is convinced was born in the wrong decade, and 2) I am an absolute sucker for the sappy, predictable yet heart-wrenching movie genre known as rom coms. Nobody likes to admit they're a sucker for this stuff, but deep down we all are, don't lie to yourself...
Anyway, what was my point in all of this? Yes, the basis of this movie is totally cliche and probably unrealistic, but the idea that falling in love with someone's words rather than their looks is something worth delving into. It is such a foreign concept in today's technology driven world. There are apps where we "swipe left" or "swipe right" based solely on a person's image. We first judge a person's appearance before deciding whether they are worthy enough to start a conversation with, never have knowing whether they have a wealth of knowledge to share or a story worthy of telling. How many people have we passed on throughout our lives that may have been able to say the words you wish you could speak with someone else or discuss something you too are desperately passionate about? We'll never know the answer to that, but I can guarantee there have been a few.
We go through life thinking we know what we want in a person. We have an image ingrained in our minds early on of what our perfect match would look like and how tall they would be and how the story of how you two met would play out. We're so set on finding these attributes that a person who may be everything you'd hoped for is overlooked because they're a few inches too short or they're not what your parents envision for you. How can such minuscule infractions cause us to pass on even the tiniest chance of being with someone that gets you? Someone that understands you and all that you believe in? Someone who may love you?
I know, I know. Someone's been watching one too many romances lately. I'll try to tone down the dramatics.....In essence, love may be presented to you in many different forms. We just need to gather the courage to set aside our expectations of what it's supposed to look like, and deeply cherish having even the slightest chance of tasting what it is to love and be loved.
Have the courage, moths. xoxo
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Monday, September 18, 2017
Saturday, September 2, 2017
Meaning of Life
Welcome to September, Moths!
It has been one long heck of a summer. I wish I could say it was filled with memorable nights and drinking until the sun came up, but unfortunately the real world had me tied down to work and school. Which I'm not necessarily complaining about because I saved up money to live comfortably while I'm away at college for the next couple of months, so there are trade-offs.
Now I know you're all thinking, are you going to tell us which school you go to, or what?? Since you begged, I'll share! I will be a senior this year at Rutgers University in New Brunswick! I transferred here last year and have been so grateful for the house I was accepted into. This house, called Helyar House, is unlike any other living arrangement out there. It is a co-op/coed, fifty year establishment filled with long-lasting traditions and amazing influential people. It really is a humbling experience to work alongside 39 other people to keep a house running effectively and-for the most part-smoothly.
Part of the uniqueness of this house is that the students who live within it basically have full control with a strong sense of independence. We have an E-board consisting of a president, vice president, food coordinators, historians (one of them being me), etc. The members of this "E-board" moved in a couple of days early to acclimate to the house for the upcoming semester, consisting of some training sessions discussing things like diversity, constructive personality exercises, stress/time management, etc. At the end of one of these sessions, our residence counselor, Neha, left us this food-for-thought before heading to bed:
What are three or four things you want to be remembered for when you die?
.
.
.
.
That escalated quickly, huh?
The context behind this is that we were discussing things about each other, such as things we feel we are oppressed by, memories we had about issues with gender/race/confrontation in the past, and things alike. The goal of all of this was to feel a deeper connection with the other members of our E-board, as well as feeling comfortable enough to share these things that may be crouching in the back of our minds. It really hit me, and as I laid in bed that night, I couldn't get my mind off of the thought. Sometimes we are sidetracked by all of the clutter in our lives. Clutter can be stress at work, worrying about if you look "too fat" in this outfit or whether or not we're having a bad hair day or worrying about posting this picture rather than the other, etc. We hang on so closely to these minuscule issues that when we are asked to take a step back from it all, it seems so utterly ridiculous that we wasted any time worrying about such things in the first place.
And by we I mean I, naturally.
So what are my three or four things? I'm going to share them with all of you lovely people:
It has been one long heck of a summer. I wish I could say it was filled with memorable nights and drinking until the sun came up, but unfortunately the real world had me tied down to work and school. Which I'm not necessarily complaining about because I saved up money to live comfortably while I'm away at college for the next couple of months, so there are trade-offs.
Now I know you're all thinking, are you going to tell us which school you go to, or what?? Since you begged, I'll share! I will be a senior this year at Rutgers University in New Brunswick! I transferred here last year and have been so grateful for the house I was accepted into. This house, called Helyar House, is unlike any other living arrangement out there. It is a co-op/coed, fifty year establishment filled with long-lasting traditions and amazing influential people. It really is a humbling experience to work alongside 39 other people to keep a house running effectively and-for the most part-smoothly.
Part of the uniqueness of this house is that the students who live within it basically have full control with a strong sense of independence. We have an E-board consisting of a president, vice president, food coordinators, historians (one of them being me), etc. The members of this "E-board" moved in a couple of days early to acclimate to the house for the upcoming semester, consisting of some training sessions discussing things like diversity, constructive personality exercises, stress/time management, etc. At the end of one of these sessions, our residence counselor, Neha, left us this food-for-thought before heading to bed:
What are three or four things you want to be remembered for when you die?
.
.
.
.
That escalated quickly, huh?
The context behind this is that we were discussing things about each other, such as things we feel we are oppressed by, memories we had about issues with gender/race/confrontation in the past, and things alike. The goal of all of this was to feel a deeper connection with the other members of our E-board, as well as feeling comfortable enough to share these things that may be crouching in the back of our minds. It really hit me, and as I laid in bed that night, I couldn't get my mind off of the thought. Sometimes we are sidetracked by all of the clutter in our lives. Clutter can be stress at work, worrying about if you look "too fat" in this outfit or whether or not we're having a bad hair day or worrying about posting this picture rather than the other, etc. We hang on so closely to these minuscule issues that when we are asked to take a step back from it all, it seems so utterly ridiculous that we wasted any time worrying about such things in the first place.
And by we I mean I, naturally.
So what are my three or four things? I'm going to share them with all of you lovely people:
- I want to be remembered for my smile and the way it lights up the darkest of rooms (as I have been so graciously told)
- I want to be remembered for having a kind and compassionate nature towards others
- I want to be remembered for my unwavering passion for wildlife, and things alike
- I want to be remembered for my infectious, side-hurts-so-bad, only-stopping-to-gasp-for-air, kind of laugh
- And above all, I want to be remembered for all of the happiness I've brought into other people's lives
Let me be clear: I'm planning on my death being a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long time from now, and this is just an exercise to gain a perspective on life.
Neha also said that if there ever comes a time in our lives where we are at a crossroads, or are going through a difficult situation in which life seems impossibly overwhelming, that we ought to utilize and retouch on these in order to reorientate our souls with our meaning of life. In other words, to take a step back from the magnifying glass we look through every day. No one is going to remember that huge pimple you had during the tenth grade that you ogled over all day, or that one time your belly rolls showed when your crop top was a little too cropped. None of these things will matter once we've departed from this physical world. It's how you chose to live your life, and how you treated people along the way, that matters.
I urge anyone reading this to take a few minutes to yourself in a quiet and secluded place to think about, and write down, what it is you wish to be remembered by when you die. Don't treat this as a morbid exercise, but rather your own guide from which to touch base with your core/soul. Write them down and store them somewhere you can access, somewhere it can remembered when you need it the most. These are for you and no one else, so really dig deep.
What are you living for, moths? xoxo
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Aware
Life is but a reflection of,
The Earth, the Sea,
And the Stars above--
The Earth teaches many a thing,
What wisdom its soils do bring.
From it, sprouts plants and trees,
Whose leaves dance in the breeze.
On it supports buildings and homes,
In it conceals diamonds and bones.
It is never judging of those it meets,
To everyone it graciously greets.
Within its lips, truth there lies,
Of the day light, and night skies.
Secrets it holds for those who tell,
For above it heaven,
And beneath it hell.
Always to it does life return,
From Earth, there is much to learn.
As a balance to Earth's benevolence,
There lives the Sea's bold arrogance.
Thrashing and swaying with gust all day,
To the Earth, it has much to say.
Never does it withhold a confession,
But done so with utmost discretion.
Although the surface looks of steel,
Beneath it flourishes a great deal.
In the shallows communities thrive,
Stimulating the waters to feel alive.
The dark abyss is a different being,
Hiding demons, within it screaming.
Many are there secrets untold,
In the Sea a mystery does hold.
Keeping watch over the sullen Sea,
Are creatures unlike you and me.
They fill the sky with sultry lights,
And take away the lonely nights.
But the Stars are not what they seem,
Despite their envied lustrous gleam.
Behind the light is a shadow of death,
A projection of beauty is all that's left.
This reality is their burden to bear,
For your sadness they wish to spare.
It's no wonder they are looked upon,
And their shooting light wished on.
From the Stars I've come to learn,
Even in death does passion burn.
So you see, that all around,
Are inspirations,
To be found.
-b.m.
The Earth, the Sea,
And the Stars above--
The Earth teaches many a thing,
What wisdom its soils do bring.
From it, sprouts plants and trees,
Whose leaves dance in the breeze.
On it supports buildings and homes,
In it conceals diamonds and bones.
It is never judging of those it meets,
To everyone it graciously greets.
Within its lips, truth there lies,
Of the day light, and night skies.
Secrets it holds for those who tell,
For above it heaven,
And beneath it hell.
Always to it does life return,
From Earth, there is much to learn.
As a balance to Earth's benevolence,
There lives the Sea's bold arrogance.
Thrashing and swaying with gust all day,
To the Earth, it has much to say.
Never does it withhold a confession,
But done so with utmost discretion.
Although the surface looks of steel,
Beneath it flourishes a great deal.
In the shallows communities thrive,
Stimulating the waters to feel alive.
The dark abyss is a different being,
Hiding demons, within it screaming.
Many are there secrets untold,
In the Sea a mystery does hold.
Keeping watch over the sullen Sea,
Are creatures unlike you and me.
They fill the sky with sultry lights,
And take away the lonely nights.
But the Stars are not what they seem,
Despite their envied lustrous gleam.
Behind the light is a shadow of death,
A projection of beauty is all that's left.
This reality is their burden to bear,
For your sadness they wish to spare.
It's no wonder they are looked upon,
And their shooting light wished on.
From the Stars I've come to learn,
Even in death does passion burn.
So you see, that all around,
Are inspirations,
To be found.
-b.m.
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Bedtime Bliss
Good evening, Moths!
Hope everyone had a lovely Saturday! Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday, which means good company and delicious food. But let's focus on the here and now and leave tomorrow where it belongs: in the future. Maybe you're a college student reading this from the comfort of your dorm room, or a mom of three unwinding from a busy day, finally getting some time to yourself. No matter where you are reading this from, or what your situation is at the moment, I think we can all agree that night time is a magical time. It's a time to reflect on everything that has happened that day without having to expend anymore energy, and a time to feed your exhaustion with delicious sleep. It's a special intermediate zone between the sweet ending of one day and the fresh beginning of another. Sleep can do wonders for the body--when you get enough of it--and it is filled with that magical (I know, I said it again!) thing called dreams. Dreams are our subconscious playing out scenes from deep within our mind where anything is possible, like a film being projected directly from our imagination. Some people can recall the most specific details from their dreams (like my mom), while others lose the memory of them as soon as their eyes open and their senses are awoken (like me). Either way, we're all dreamers. We all dream of something while we sleep, whether we remember it or not.
My eyelids are drooping just typing this post..
.
.
.
.
.
One of the greatest feelings in the world is waking up in the early morning hours thinking it's around the time you need to be awake, only to find that it's three in the morning and you have several hours until your alarm will ring. I am a very restless sleeper (probably due to all of the technology I look at right before going to sleep..) and almost every night when I inevitably wake up, I check the time--I somehow always remember that time the following morning--and it's such a scrumptious feeling knowing that I can drift right back into blissful sleep. Sleep itself is such a weird thing. Our body goes into a stasis of sorts, where our breathing is low and our muscles are completely relaxed, not needed for the coming hours. Complete darkness. Time is such an interesting component of sleep because we have absolutely no concept of it when unconscious. Similar to getting anesthetized for surgery: you count backwards from ten for as long as you can hold on, and in a blink you are awake and the surgery is over with zero recollection, in some cases of the hours it took for them to complete it. While our brain is still active, our senses are muted and the world is silenced. That statement is what makes up the difficult debate over a patient in a coma. While the physical body may be immobile, the mind still has the ability to be conscious. Can they hear someone that is speaking to them and comprehend it, but simply be unable to respond? That's an interesting discussion question, but let's leave that for another post.
Let's return to the present moment. Are your eyelids feeling heavy? Is your body sunken into the mattress beneath you? Let go. Let go of all of the stress, all of the thoughts, all of the activity that today brought. All that happened today belongs in the past and cannot be changed, no matter how much you think about it. Let it live in the past while you allow your body and mind to rejuvenate itself for the new day ahead. Let every single muscle in your body let go of any tension. What I like to do is listen to a guided mediation (for example: Guided Sleep Meditation) which I find to be highly successful in helping me to focus on falling asleep and quieting the activity of my mind. What I love about the one I attached a link to, besides his voice, is that he talks you through every muscle--from your toes all the way up to your scalp--so you can identify what parts of your body are holding the most tension, and ease them to relaxation. Everyone has their own experience when meditating, but I get this warm, almost tingly sensation that moves up through my body like a wave of comfort that simply washes over me, leaving me numb and completely at ease. He counts down from ten towards the end and I almost always fall asleep before reaching one (which I know because the next morning I can't, for the life of me, recollect what number he got to before I fell asleep). If you've never listened to a guided meditation before, I highly recommend you try implementing one into your daily regimen. The app Buddhify is my #1 favorite guided mediation supplement and it is perfect for beginners! It may feel silly at first listening to one, but they are so spiritually healing and buddhify is broken up into different categories so you can listen to one no matter what you are doing at that moment--anywhere from eating, trouble falling asleep, difficult emotions, or even walking in nature!
That's all I have for tonight, I really hope you try guided mediation for yourself if you've never done so before, especially the one I attached a link for in this post. It's one of those things that is tailored to you, and is completely different from one individual to the next. There's no right or wrong way of doing it. Some people love it, some simply don't have the patience for it, but you can train your mind by listening to them, similar to how you train your muscles by lifting weights. If you decide to try it for the first time, comment on here and share your experience! I would love to hear how it went and how you feel about it.
***It's that magical time!!***
.
.
.
Well, go on.
.
.
.
Let go
.
.
.
Relax
.
.
.
Dream
.
.
.
Sweet dreams, Moths. xoxo
My eyelids are drooping just typing this post..
.
.
.
.
.
One of the greatest feelings in the world is waking up in the early morning hours thinking it's around the time you need to be awake, only to find that it's three in the morning and you have several hours until your alarm will ring. I am a very restless sleeper (probably due to all of the technology I look at right before going to sleep..) and almost every night when I inevitably wake up, I check the time--I somehow always remember that time the following morning--and it's such a scrumptious feeling knowing that I can drift right back into blissful sleep. Sleep itself is such a weird thing. Our body goes into a stasis of sorts, where our breathing is low and our muscles are completely relaxed, not needed for the coming hours. Complete darkness. Time is such an interesting component of sleep because we have absolutely no concept of it when unconscious. Similar to getting anesthetized for surgery: you count backwards from ten for as long as you can hold on, and in a blink you are awake and the surgery is over with zero recollection, in some cases of the hours it took for them to complete it. While our brain is still active, our senses are muted and the world is silenced. That statement is what makes up the difficult debate over a patient in a coma. While the physical body may be immobile, the mind still has the ability to be conscious. Can they hear someone that is speaking to them and comprehend it, but simply be unable to respond? That's an interesting discussion question, but let's leave that for another post.
Let's return to the present moment. Are your eyelids feeling heavy? Is your body sunken into the mattress beneath you? Let go. Let go of all of the stress, all of the thoughts, all of the activity that today brought. All that happened today belongs in the past and cannot be changed, no matter how much you think about it. Let it live in the past while you allow your body and mind to rejuvenate itself for the new day ahead. Let every single muscle in your body let go of any tension. What I like to do is listen to a guided mediation (for example: Guided Sleep Meditation) which I find to be highly successful in helping me to focus on falling asleep and quieting the activity of my mind. What I love about the one I attached a link to, besides his voice, is that he talks you through every muscle--from your toes all the way up to your scalp--so you can identify what parts of your body are holding the most tension, and ease them to relaxation. Everyone has their own experience when meditating, but I get this warm, almost tingly sensation that moves up through my body like a wave of comfort that simply washes over me, leaving me numb and completely at ease. He counts down from ten towards the end and I almost always fall asleep before reaching one (which I know because the next morning I can't, for the life of me, recollect what number he got to before I fell asleep). If you've never listened to a guided meditation before, I highly recommend you try implementing one into your daily regimen. The app Buddhify is my #1 favorite guided mediation supplement and it is perfect for beginners! It may feel silly at first listening to one, but they are so spiritually healing and buddhify is broken up into different categories so you can listen to one no matter what you are doing at that moment--anywhere from eating, trouble falling asleep, difficult emotions, or even walking in nature!
That's all I have for tonight, I really hope you try guided mediation for yourself if you've never done so before, especially the one I attached a link for in this post. It's one of those things that is tailored to you, and is completely different from one individual to the next. There's no right or wrong way of doing it. Some people love it, some simply don't have the patience for it, but you can train your mind by listening to them, similar to how you train your muscles by lifting weights. If you decide to try it for the first time, comment on here and share your experience! I would love to hear how it went and how you feel about it.
***It's that magical time!!***
.
.
.
Well, go on.
.
.
.
Let go
.
.
.
Relax
.
.
.
Dream
.
.
.
Sweet dreams, Moths. xoxo
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