Imperfectly Perfect

Happy First Day of March, Moths!

Wow I have really been slacking in the writing department lately! The thing with me writing poems and blog posts and such is that it isn't something that can be forced. Sometimes inspiration just comes to me and I can't stop typing, and other times I don't even know where to start. Rest assured, my creative juices are flowing today and thus: my new blog post!

Today I want to talk about imperfections...

*screams*

They're not as scary as they sound, I promise. I very briefly mentioned the idea of imperfections in my Sorry Not Sorry post a few weeks back, but I didn't go into much detail about them. Firstly, what do I mean by imperfections?
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im·per·fec·tion
/ˌimpərˈfekSH(ə)n/

noun

1. a fault, blemish, or undesirable feature
   ex. scar, birthmark, freckles, wrinkles, cellulite, stretch marks, pimples, etc. 

definition courtesy of google
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Now that we have that squared away, where am I getting at?

*What I am about to say may be shocking to some, reader discretion advised*

Ready? Imperfections are......beautiful! Yeah, I said it. And boy do I believe it to my core. I'll tell you why: there is no such thing as "perfect." Seriously, it's true. All of those Instagram models and celebrities that you see through filters and makeup are all made up of imperfections. They're humans too, they get pimples and pass gas like all of us. These imperfections make us human. They tell a story that only collects with age. How cool are birthmarks?? Not everyone has one but for those that do, they are completely unique to that person and no one else. It's almost like being a knight donned with a special medal they have to wear for the rest of their lives (that's right, if you have a birthmark you're now officially a knight). How about wrinkles? I know they've come up with everything but the kitchen sink as far as remedies for "anti-aging" against wrinkles, but what makes them so cool is that they're remnants of every movement you have ever made since being born. Those lines on each side of your lips? You got those from every time you have ever smiled. They're the mark of happiness in your life. The wrinkles on your forehead? They were made every time you were ever surprised by something and it made you raise your eyebrows. And scars? They're probably the coolest of them all. Each one undoubtedly has some interesting story to go along with it, like that one time in middle school when you climbed a tree and fell out of it, so you got this sick little scar on your back (a.k.a my mom) or that time you wrestled a crocodile in the amazon and lived to tell the tale...(okay, that one is a little farfetched, but you get the point). For all of the mothers reading, think about those stretch marks on your stomach that you absolutely dread. Do you remember how you got them? You carried a human being inside of you for nine months, that's how. You did the hardest thing anybody can do on this planet. Those stretch marks are proof of that feat, and you should be wearing them with pride for what you have accomplished. Don't even get me started on tattoos. These are chosen imperfections, or pieces of art as I see them. Some are words, some are giant tigers, but regardless they're now a part of you and your story.

Personally, I have every single "imperfection" that I have included in this post. Some I may dislike more than others, but as I said before, they are a part of me. They make me who I am. I have a "beauty mark" freckle on my left cheek that has been there since I was little, and I've come to love it because it makes me unique. I have four tattoos (to my father's dismay), a birthmark on my left wrist, a butt chin that I get from my mom, and countless others that I've acquired over my twenty years of life. I wouldn't change a single thing.

So, I challenge you to make a list of all of the "imperfections" you see. Write down how you got them or how it makes you unique or who in your family you may have gotten it from. Do this without judgement of yourself. Look at these quirks like an outsider looking in, and you have to explain it to them. What inspired you to get that tattoo? Is it sentimental or was it your 21st birthday and you had one too many drinks? No matter what it is, embrace it and be kind to yourself.

Love your imperfections, moths. xoxo

Take a second to reflect on the day you've had
and use it as a learning experience for
the days ahead.
Love the person that is you. 

Jealousy is an ugly trait.
Love those around you, and above all,
love yourself.

Sorry Not Sorry

Happy Sunday Moths!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I want to talk about the word "sorry" today. We all know those people that say sorry about e v e r y t h i n g. Somebody runs into them..."sorry." They sneeze during class..."sorry." They even say it to their dog if they accidentally step on them..."sorry."

(okay, that last one was about me..)

Whether you say it a lot yourself, or you know someone that does, do you realize how quickly you say--or the person you know says--it to other people? I know for me, I just blurt it out habitually, the same way people say "bless you" when someone sneezes. What I want to stress is how easily it is to say it to other people: why don't we ever say it to ourselves? 

Huh??

I know, that sounds crazy, why would we say sorry to ourself? We don't realize how much pressure we put onto ourselves in every day life. In today's world, there are so many objects/people screaming in our ears--through social media, television, and even friends/family--to do things a certain way: join this gym and get your "summer" body; use this toothpaste and get a whiter smile; wear this to look more attractive. All of these swim around in the back of our minds without us realizing because they are being imprinted on us, whether we acknowledge them or not. In turn, we begin to say critical things to ourselves as a reflection of what we hear every day: why did you eat that, you're going to gain weight; I didn't work out today, I hate myself; I wish my clothes/hair/smile/body looked like that; I need to do better, be better. These thoughts pile up and Up and UP until they flood the brain, leaving no air for positivity. Expectations conflicting with reality only creates pain and disappointment (take it from me).  You simply cannot be someone you are not, and "hoping" or "wishing" gets you nowhere, but you can set obtainable goals and work towards them. This is your life and you have control of it, no matter how uncontrollable it may feel at times. Don't be jealous of others, or feel belittled by them, or let them dictate how you should look/act/live. It's just a waste of time. 

So, back to the word "sorry." 

Leave the "sorry" 's for the times you really screw up something, or actually hurt someone, and take it out of your every day list of vocabulary. Instead of saying it to others, say it to yourself whenever a negative thought pops up in your head. You are going to feel so silly, but stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eyes*, and say--either in your head, or out loud if you want to feel extra crazy--I'm sorry. This is going to feel weird at first, but we need to get as comfortable with saying it to ourselves as we are saying it to other people. It's okay to laugh or blush, but repeat it several times--I'm sorry I said those hurtful things about myself; I'm sorry I wished I was someone else; I'm sorry I didn't treat you (your body) with kindness. You have to love yourself, I cannot say this enough. Don't rely on an external source to tell you you're beautiful or special or worth it. Tell yourself. Be independent. Because at the end of the day it's just you inside of that head of yours, telling you how you feel about yourself. 

*a small note: staring into your own eyes is one of the most vulnerable, personal things you can do. It sounds stupid, but have you ever actually looked at yourself in the mirror? Not at all of the "imperfections" of your body, but you as a whole? If you're like me, you look into the mirror and see the stretch marks and jiggly parts and cellulite. Focusing on these things are an absolute waste of time because they don't show the soul inside. I did this little exercise, staring into my own eyes, for a couple of minutes the other day and started crying because of how exposed it made me feel. If you don't believe me, try it for yourself.

Here's my challenge to you for the week ahead:

1. Catch yourself when you say "sorry" to someone and mentally take note of why you said it

2. If it wasn't for something you were seriously sorry for, STOP SAYING IT

3. Throughout the week, jot down any negative/hurtful thoughts you say to yourself

4. At the end of the week, look yourself in the mirror and say "sorry I thought...(step 3 notes)"

5. Set aside some "me" time in your busy schedule, where you won't be interrupted, and look into your own eyes in the mirror. Let yourself in and let go of the bad thoughts. 

Fly freely, moths. xoxo

Eternal

i believe that this body, 

this life,

is just part of a collection.

for deep within my heart,

my soul,

lives no hint of objection.  

how could so much learning,

so much living,

be achieved in one lifetime?

for years pass by in a blink,

a second,

as permanent as sunshine.

the artists and the architects,

the poets,

never cease to endeavor. 

for masterpieces and monuments,

and poems,

will live to see forever. 

if you or i can make something

everlasting,

something eternal,

then you and i are too, everlasting.

you and i are too, eternal. 

-b.m.